I spent part of this weekend thinking through a question I got while facilitating: how should ERG leaders support their communities during hard times?

And let me be honest.

Yes, in general, I can be a little bit of a know-it-all. 😌 But I am aware that I do not literally know it all… and this is one of those topics where I think that matters.

I’m not a trauma expert. I’m not a clinician. I’m not here to tell anyone the one “right” thing to do in a heavy moment. But I have been doing community work for a long time, and I do know this:

When people are hurting, leaders often feel pressure to fix what they were never actually meant to fix.

That pressure gets even heavier in moments like this—when the current war involving Iran, Israel, and the U.S. is escalating in real time, expanding across the region, and creating the kind of fear, grief, anger, and distraction that absolutely follows people into work (among many, many other things happening globally).

So no, I can’t tell you the perfect response. But I can offer a clearer way to think about what is in your control. Because supporting a community during hard times is a lot like supporting a friend through something hard:

You may not be able to save them from the situation. You may not be able to solve the root issue. But you can control how you show up.

That’s where I land:

When the world feels chaotic, clarity is care. People do not always need a perfect statement. Sometimes they just need:

This can look like:

In hard moments, reducing confusion is helpful. It lowers the emotional lift required to get support.

And by care, I do not mean becoming someone’s therapist.

I mean:

Sometimes the most supportive thing a leader can do is simply make it clear that the moment has been noticed. Because when something heavy is happening and leadership or community spaces act like nothing is going on, people feel that too.

They feel ignored. They feel dismissed.

Care can be as simple as:

Not every hard time needs a big activation. Sometimes it needs a humane response.

This is the piece I think people skip.

Not everyone needs the same thing from the community at the same time.

Some people want resources.

Some people want acknowledgement.

Some people want quiet.

Some people want community.

Some people want a little relief and a reason to breathe.

That means ERG leaders do not always need to pick one giant response.

Sometimes the better move is to offer a small menu of support options:

That last one matters.

Because yes—joy still has a place.

But joy should not be used to erase the hard thing.

It should be used to help people carry it.

There is a difference.

If you jump straight to positivity without acknowledging the weight of the moment, it can feel dismissive. But if you first name the reality, then offer people an optional moment of lightness, that can be a real form of care.

In other words:

Don’t replace the heaviness. Help balance it.

Before responding, ask:

You do not need to do everything.

You do need to be intentional.

A few things ERG leaders should stop feeling pressured to do:

That is not your role.

Your role is not to control the hard thing.

Your ERG role is to help your community navigate it with a little more support, a little more humanity, and a little more clarity than they had before.

That matters.

And honestly? In a lot of workplaces, that already sets the tone more than people realize.

Hope this helps ✌🏿

Maceo

P.S. Check out these 15 things you can do instead of a listening session to support your members during tough times.